Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Angel Baby Hope



Hope Maxine Rollins
October 19, 2008
7 lbs. 2 oz.
20 1/2 inches long

Our baby niece Hope was still born last Sunday. My sister-in-law Tanya was past her due date, and when she went into labor on Sunday morning, went to the hospital expecting to bring home her darling daughter in the next day or so. When they got the monitors on they found the baby was already gone. She delivered Hope Sunday night, and we left Tuesday to travel to Provo for the week. The service was on Thursday. It was a beautiful day, and Jarod (Hope's Dad) gave a wonderful dedicatory prayer for his daughter. Overall it was a very uplifting experience, and a reminder of the importance of family, but I still wish there were never coffins that little. Tanya and Jarod are doing as well as anyone could have expected. They are overwhelmingly positive, and strong. We really enjoyed being able to spend time with them and the chance we had to see the rest of our family.

We've tried to explain to Jackson what happened. He seems to understand as much as any three year old could. Whenever he hears someone mention Tanya or Jarod, he says "Tanya's baby died." He has prayed multiple times everyday for Tanya's baby to come back from Heaven. He recently has been adding on to "bless Tanya & Jarod so that they're not sad anymore". We haven't told him one time what he should say, and its been so insightful to hear what questions he has (How do they get Tanya's baby in the ground? What will Tanya's Baby wear to go to heaven?) and a pleasant reminder that even during sad times, three year olds are always a joy.

Hope was buried in the Orem Cemetary at the top of a hill. Jackson from the second we drove in was filled with questions. ''Mom! It's a golf course!" No, Jacks its not a golf course. It's a cemetary. " But mom, it has flags! It's a golf course!" "Can I roll down the hill?" We had explained to Jackson that they use a tractor to dig the hole, and then later on they put baby Hope's box (as Jackson called it) in the ground. "Dad, where's the tractor? Can I drive the tractor?" During the service, Jackson was being pretty quiet, but he was running around the hillside. Then I heard this little voice say 'my mom likes flowers' and I turned around to see Jackson picking flowers off of other graves and running over to me, and giving me his thoughtfully stolen prizes. Later on he also was switching flowers. These flowers would look better on this grave, these ones on that grave. After undoing his arranging I was again surprised by his thoughtfulness as he brought me a real flower from the roses Tanya had told all the children they could take, he handed it to me and said ''don't be sad anymore mom". While I was Jackson chasing, Bart and Carter spent a good deal of the beginning of the service in time out in Aunt Tanna's car, because our banshee baby once again wouldn't stop screaming. Between Bart being in "Time Out" and Jackson running non-stop I think it was a vivid reminder to all of Bart's relatives of watching Bart as a child, and I got lots of sympathetic, yet very amused looks.
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11 comments:

craftyashley said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My friend will be going through something similar soon. It's so sad!

Mandy Rasmussen said...

Tanya and Jarod are in our prayers -we are so sad this happened. Hope is so beautiful!! I am so grateful for our family and the love and support we give one another. I wish Toby and I could have been there. Love you guys!

Pike's Place said...

How heartbreaking! What a beautiful baby . . . .

Becca said...

I am so sorry to hear this :( How beautiful the Plan of Salvation is at a time like this...

love you

Julie said...

We were so sorry to hear about Hope. We have been praying for Tanya and Jarod. She is a beautiful baby. I'm glad you could be there to support them both. Family is the best.

Tricia said...

This just breaks my heart. Your family is in our prayers.

Kelsey said...

Oh Kellie! Hugs and squeezes to all of you! I know exactly how she is feeling. Just continue to let her talk about her baby and be there for them. If you have a chance, get the book "Mommy, please don't cry" for them. It's perfect. YOu will all be in our prayers.

camery said...

I am so sad for all of you for the loss of Hope. You do have some amazing family members to help you along the way. She is truly an angel. So beautiful!

Mitzi said...

I am so sorry. I started bawling just seeing the photo. Then I was dumb and went to the link to Tanya's blog. SO SAD!!! The whole thing is about how excited she is and how the room is painted and the Halloween costume she bought etc. How terrible. The bad thing is that every time I check your blog to see if you posted anything new, I start to cry b/c that is still at the top.

Wood Family said...

I'm so sorry to hear abour baby Hope. I saw her pictures on Tanya's blog, she is beautiful.
Brandon and Mandy's friends just lost their baby girl on October 22Would you give Tanya their blog address so if she is interested in talking to her they can talk with each other.

http://rylieandchris.blogspot.com


Hugs.

Hawley Family said...

Oh my gosh that is so sad!! And here I am complaining about my children being too hyper...sheesh...things like this help you put so many things into perspective. My prayers are with them...I can't even imagine.